Thank you for this open and illuminating discussion. I should think more about this question, and your openness and honesty was a big help.
A few random thoughts:
I had been looking for a hat to keep the sun off, and after much shopping, I found one that fit. Not stylish, but it does the job. We all search for much more important things--finding the perfect mate, a fulfilling career, et al. But compared to the "it" that I think you and Bono are talking about, all these things seem more like my quest for a hat that fits. They're not trivial, but they aren't the same thing.
Maybe the "it" is the sum total of all the other things we're searching for, instead of being some sort of transcendent goal.
Maybe (in good taoist fashion), looking for the "it" is finding the "it" as long as we never stop looking. Complacency in this case is the enemy of fulfillment, and you've shaken me out of mine this morning.
Here's another searching song by the Kinks:
And one from outlaw Ray Wylie Hubbard, with Willie Nelson guesting:
