In most systems of oppression, there are usually two levels: the overall structure of oppression, and the oppressive acts and beliefs of individuals. For example, in America, not every White person is a racist in terms of acts and beliefs. But every White person benefits from systemic racial inequality.

In terms of gender inequality, not every man is an oppressor per se, but every man benefits from gender inequality, whether he wants / intends to or not. So while feminist rage against all men may be counterproductive as you suggest, it’s certainly understandable.