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I’m Throwing in the Towel
Shower’s over! Just like my failed candidacy. (frowning emoticon goes here)
Following the disappointing results of the latest Steven Hale for President Poll (in conjunction with Steven Hale Polling, the New York Times font, and Steven Hale University (check out this week’s Buy One Get One Free specials on Bachelor’s Degrees), which place my candidacy next-to-last in the list of 1,453,091 hopefuls for the Democratic Nomination for Presidency of the Greatest Nation in the World (USA!!!), just behind the perennial also-ran a ham sandwich and in front of Mrs. MacMahan’s leftover haggis, not to mention my abysmal performance in the recent Democratic Debate discussion comments here on Medium, I have decided to suspend my candidacy for the time being, depending on the impact of COVID-19 (or an unpredicted meteor) on the remaining candidates.
It is with much regret but an equally consoling hope for the future of our great nation (USA!!!!!) that I have to chosen to endorse the late, great Senator Eugene McCarthy for the Democratic nomination.
Now write-in campaigns have not proved fruitful in presidential elections (much to the chagrin of perennial favorite Donald Duck), not to mention campaigns for dead people (although the deceased have a better record than you might think, some of them younger at the time of their demise than the two septuagenarians…
