I'm not sure why your obituary showed up in my news feed, but I'm glad it did, because it led me to think about my own father (who died decades ago).

I think the job description for "good dad" is much more complicated than the description for "good mom," maybe because men are encouraged to hide their feelings.

I hope I'm not being pushy or insensitive here, but the fact that your father was able to show himself to you as a "big kid" and a less-than-professional musician shows that was willing to risk exposing his vulnerability in order to protect yours and to nurture you. Condolences might be in order, but I'm more inclined to send you Congratulations for appreciating the special gifts that your father bestowed on you.