If that were what I was saying, I would agree wholeheartedly with your objection.

"Identity politics" as a term is a little like "political correctness." It carries with it an implicit condemnation.

In my online experience, the issue came up when someone claimed some sort of neutrality that I didn't find justified. Usually this was someone on the left (e.g. a Bernie Sanders supporter, or sometimes Sanders himself) who wanted to look at a particular social problem like income / wealth inequality as an issue of wealth distribution or the evils of capitalism without looking at it as the racially based intention of the people supporting the inequity. When I'd point to the racism inherent in wealth inequality, I would be condemned by the self-styled progressive as indulging in identity politics and ignoring the broader, more abstract hoopla.

I will agree with you in this sense (and I'm not being ironic or sarcastic): when we do reach MLK's dream of a society in which skin color doesn't matter (I would add gender and a few other identity tags), then Identity Politics as well as the notion of Identitarian Deference described in the original post will no longer exist. I hope to see it before I die.