I don't want to minimize or preempt or deprecate your rage. I think white rage over injustices committed against other groups is in a way a misdirection of effort. And I accept the job assignment of responding to to the racism of others. But I have a problem with the empathy part:

"They are YOUR JOB #1. YOU are supposed to empathize with their white fragility, get them past their self-centering feels, and bring them over to the right side of history."

In my view, empathy is appropriate for someone who commits wrongs out of weakness but not someone who does so out of malice or spite. Racists may be defensive, but I don't think they're fragile. Their goal in life is to make other people feel fragile. We should help rapists and pedophiles change their harmful behavior, but not empathize with them. We should help racists empathize with the people they damage, but in my experience, such people experience empathy directed toward what we consider "white fragility" as sympathy or even acceptance. Once racists have given over their hatred and set about making amends, I will empathize with that kind of fragility till the cows come home.