1. I say Craig with an a as in "make"

2. When hell reaches absolute zero.

3. Pretty good, depends on the jelly.

4. Jam is bits of fruit plus sugar; jelly is fruit juice plus sugar (preserves are lots of bits of fruit plus sugar).

5. I pronounce Graham in two syllables.

6. I taught high school for a year. The kids looked like kids (but I looked like 90 when I left).

7. Everyone here is either weirdly religious or weirdly nonreligious.

8. From an ordinary citizen's pov, the purpose of healthcare insurance is to provide them with good healthcare and deny affordable coverage to everyone else. Most people here don't distinguish between healthcare insurance and healthcare itself (both are pretty bad).

9. I think that method of transportation is planned for the next Crocodile Dundee movie.

10. They exist only in nightmares.

11. Death on a stick.

12. Sometimes the day is smaller than the month, sometimes larger. We're lucky to have a standard at all (see answer to #2).

13. I don't know about other regions, but when we southerners want to wish some a crappy day, we say "Bless your heart."

14. Hope you like bbq tempeh.

And I have a question about New Zealanders: Why do they pronounce a short e as a short i? ("The coroner examined the DID man.")